Episode #28 - Jesse's Story

In this episode we are joined by our very own Jesse Elser. We learn why Jesse was voted captain of his very first pro team, what most people get wrong about relationship building, how important rapport is to a successful career, and how different paths can lead to the same destination. We discuss the importance of finding your own authentic performance state and how to elevate that performance state in those around you.

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Transcript

0:00

Hello everyone and welcome back to the Pit to Pro podcast. In this episode, we are joined by our very own Jesse Elser. Expect to learn why Jesse was voted captain of his very first pro team, what most people get wrong about relationship building, how Jesse became the top car salesman in his dealership within the first month of working there, how different paths can lead to the same destination, and the importance of finding your very own authentic performance state.

Mathias 0:22

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Jesse 0:26

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Mathias 0:34

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Jesse 0:39

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Mathias 0:46

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Jesse 1:03

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1:19

But now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jesse Elser. Hello and welcome to the Pit the Pro podcast. Jesse, Matthias, and Aaron Elson. This podcast is meant to guide young athletes on their journey to high performance. Join us as we share our first hand experiences in an effort to help you reach your own valuable goals.

Mathias 1:41

Bonjour, everyone. Bonjour, tout le monde. today we're chatting with Jess. We're gonna go through some of what he's learned over his career, learn about him and his story a little bit more. So welcome to the show, Jess.

Jesse 1:59

Thanks, man.

Mathias 2:00

And yeah, Oog's not here today. He's uh, writing a paper or something. We'll He's got an exam, exam, academic weapon. Um, so just, I think one of, uh, in my, in my view, one of the biggest, uh, changes or like a pivot point in your career was your back injury. And, uh, so if you could walk us through kind of what happened there, um, and then also you mentioned that that was maybe one of the hardest or the hardest time in your career and you're experiencing. The effects of all the mental health, um, struggles and anxiety and depression, that kind of stuff. So I want to know what you wish you would have heard from someone in that moment.

Jesse 2:58

Both, both really good questions. Well, yeah, I long story short, after the national final in my first year against UBC, two days later, I woke up and I like couldn't move. I texted our therapist. I was like, Hey, I can't come in. Like something's weird in my leg and I had to stop. It's like a 45 second walk to the clinic and I had to stop four or five times on benches to rest because I couldn't walk there and I thought it was something with my glute or my leg or like something was really, really painful. And then fast forward a couple months, got some MRIs, lots of pain, went to some chiropractors and I had two herniated discs and. I was out for like 14 months or something like that. And so I didn't play, didn't practice, was bedridden for a lot of it. And I'm a very sensitive person. I'm very sensitive to emotions and, uh, external, um, stimulus, I guess, stimuli. And so I think not being able to be around people, not being able to work out, not being able to. Work towards something was just incredibly hard for me because I know people that have had the same surgery That it didn't take them nearly as long to get back It didn't affect them affect them nearly as much and it used to really frustrate me that I was like, wow, I can't Why was it so hard for me? Why? Why do I still feel the effects of it today? Like if I if my back hurts after practice I get so grumpy and sad and And like distraught because I have all these emotions that I, or I remember all these emotions and how hard that was for me when it, when objectively it shouldn't have been that hard. Um, but I remember I, I, someone showed me a quote from Kobe Bryant about halfway through and it was when he, uh, tore his Achilles. And the caption of the picture was like, be sad, be angry, cry, scream, yell, do what you gotta do, and then get it out of your system and get back to work. And like, envision the recovery process, envision the surgery, ask all the questions. So you can envision the needle going in and the scalpel cutting open. So you can envision everything in your mind's eye. And I thought, I wish I kind of knew that before is how much power I had in my mind for the recovery process. It doesn't start after surgery or once you start jumping again, it starts the minute you get injured. So that's been something that I've taken with me where if something, I haven't been injured, injured, but when something hurts or aches or a little bit of pull or something, I really try and rehab with my physical tools, but also with my mind and, and try and do that kind of thing.

Mathias 6:22

Um, and then the part about, uh, what, what could the people around you have done to help you through that, that

Jesse 6:34

situation? I think they did all the perfect things. They tried to really include me, even though I couldn't really get out of bed. People would come visit me, send me things. Mom sent me like a basket where I'd open something small new every day. I don't know. I, I don't know. I don't know if there's much more anyone could have done, but I think it's also just like knowing a person, like I need people to thrive and people were sensitive to that. So they made sure that I felt included. They made sure I felt valued, still had conversations and relationships and stuff like that. So I think if someone is going through a really bad injury or something where it's affecting more than just, body, find out what's important to them and how you can adapt those values to the situation that they're in.

Mathias 7:38

Um, I guess let's go back maybe to the beginning. What, uh, what was your club experience like?

Jesse 7:47

My club experience was good. It was fun. I. Always played up a year. I always in my first two years of club, I was just on the closest club team with the friends. And then I made the decision that was a hard decision at the time to switch clubs and leave some friends behind. I moved to Canuck. That was. playing at a higher level, practicing at a higher level. And I remember crying lots of nights the week I was trying to make the decision, like not wanting to leave my friends behind, blah, blah, blah. But that was super important, I think, for my development. And then we were in the national final all three years. I think that I played with Canuck and one in my U 17 year. And then that U 17 summer was kind of like my big breakthrough is team Alberta. We played really well as a 17 18 tournament and we made the final against the Ontario U 18s, got selected to the youth national team. That was the summer before going to university. So that was like a huge pivoting spot. And at that point I was playing middle, but hitting the D ball in one. And then I got selected as a left side to the youth national team. And then ever since then, I've been a left side. If you could, if you

Mathias 9:15

could give yourself some advice and you're in starting your club career, what would you say?

Jesse 9:26

I don't know what I would tell myself, but one thing that really helped me and, and dad was a big part of this is like making sure I was a well rounded player. Even if I was a middle, he, he was very, very supportive. Uh, adamant that like I should learn how to pass, I should learn how to set, I should learn how to defend, and just being a well rounded volleyball player, so I guess my advice to other youth athletes is don't be stuck to one position, even if you play one position, be the best defender if you're a middle, or be the best server if you're a setter, you know, like you're not just a setter, you don't just set the ball, um, but if I were to go back, I think I would just say, I think I would take weightlifting more seriously, I don't think I took weightlifting seriously until like, honestly like halfway through university, And I think that was a lot of missed time and missed opportunities that could have made a difference. Maybe in my back, maybe in performance, a lot of things, but that would be something I would probably tell myself.

Mathias 10:35

And then in grade 12, you talked about the decision you had to make to leave, uh, Canada West and go to Canuck. What, uh, what was the decision process like for choosing to go to the, it's called the FTC at the time, now it's the NEP. And also, yeah, go through that a little bit. That was

Jesse 10:53

wild. That was wild. And I didn't really, it wasn't really a decision. Back then I was like, yeah, I'm doing it. That's the coolest thing ever. You know, I didn't see or listen to any of the cons. I was like, I get to go train at the national team training center in grade 12. And I'm the only, I'm the first one to do it. Why would I not do that? That wasn't even a decision, but it was way, way harder than I anticipated. Both physically and mentally, but also just moving away from home, being the only one in school, being younger than everyone by quite a few years, there was a couple Uh, first or second year university guys there, like two I think, Schwan was there and CJ Gavlis and everyone else was like near the end of their pro careers, really, because that's what FTC was for back then, was like when you didn't have a pro team to somewhere to train because you can't go to university anymore. So, being that young and that, physically weak compared to everyone. I could keep up for like most of it, but I couldn't recover fast enough. I wasn't strong enough. If I was having a really good day, you wouldn't be able to know I was younger, but those days were not very common. And then going home and studying while everyone else is doing other fun things. And yeah, it was, it was really, really hard emotionally.

Mathias 12:19

What are some of the lessons that you learned there, either life or Volleyball.

Jesse 12:27

Volleyball, one of my biggest things I learned was sometimes you just have to do what the coach says and, and knowing when to push back. I don't know if that's a good thing to say to young athletes, but, but there was an instance where I remember really, really, really vividly. This was Dan Lewis's first year after playing and he was in the assistant coach of the FTC. And our head coach, Vince, we're doing this like chase down drill. And on one side I was with Vince and he wanted me to do like this very, very specific over the left shoulder. Like dig back basically and then we whatever rotated I went to Dan Lewis's side and He wanted me to do something different So I did it the way he wanted me to do it because that's what the way he was coaching me and Vince saw me Through the net stops practice and like screamed at me yelled at me for not doing it the way that He wanted me to do it and then I had to do like touch 10 on this like terrible floor My hands were all like yeah, it was I don't know why I was telling this story. That's a good story though Well, you're saying, you're saying when, I mean, I know why I was telling a story, but I don't know why that's not what I said originally is do what the coaches tell you is not the purpose of the story. What's the purpose? I think experiment and find out what works for you. Do what the coaches want you to do and then get creative with it and see what works for you and see what doesn't work for you. And in my case, I got yelled at, but I, that was one thing I did learn is how many different ways there are to perform a skill. And I think my play style now is. Rather unique. Also, given my physical attributes, there's not a whole lot of people that play like me, I guess, I guess, at my size, I guess, I guess, you guess, well, I don't know. Actually, people just tell me that, but I don't know if that's, I don't know. I don't like saying that. Yeah.

Mathias 14:40

Okay. Well, I'm going to, I'm going to dive into that in a sec, but, um, I, I do agree. That I think it's really cool how players are created and how, where they learned all the different stuff that is part of their play style. So I agree with you. I think when you're on a specific team for a specific season or time period, I think buy in a hundred percent to what the coach is telling you and just try it. You have to, if you go full buy in, then you can, Reach the limit of what what that technique or that skill can can do. Yeah, and you're gonna learn something You're gonna learn something. Exactly, but if you never even try it, then you just you'll never find out So go all the way dive in find out if that's that's the way that It should be done for you. And then, uh, I think when I think about my game, I can pinpoint a lot of different coaches or teammates, or even like a YouTube video or something that I watched where that's where I learned that part of my game. And it's not all, it's not all going to be one coach. So that's good advice, Jess. Um, Ugg and I talked a little bit about, in his episode, about what, uh, what people would say about us versus what we thought about ourselves. And you kind of mentioned that there, like people tell you that you're this kind of player, but you don't know if it's true or not. What, uh, what was your, your internal monologue to yourself throughout your career? How did that change? And then also how did, um, what people were saying about you change or differentiate from that?

Jesse 16:26

Yeah. Well, there's parts to that question. I kind of like you said to us, how you're, you're, you were like a, your role was the, on the national team was the passing serving sub and that was your role, people often I'm, I'm going university onwards, my role was serving and passing, and that's what either people explicitly told me, or I deducted from the people that were on the floor. And that has changed recently because I realized like, The whole, not realize, but I've, yeah, I guess I realized like in order to perform and to play volleyball, you have to score points and you don't score points by serving and passing, which is important, but I've made like a conscious shift to be a much more aggressive volleyball player. in terms of like blocking and spiking and stuff like that, because I want to play on better teams. I want to score points. I want to win more. And Yeah. So, and my internal monologue was very like, if you can do your job, which at the time I thought was passing and serving and make those around me better. Cause that was kind of our, our model. I think we've talked about a couple of times, do your job, make each other better. And the making each other better always came very naturally to me. I always gained a lot of confidence when other people did good things and I could always help people. I thought I could help people reach their full in game potential and stuff like that. And In practice, I think I did that too, but maybe a little bit to a detrimental effect where I was more focused on making other people the best volleyball players that they could be as opposed to me. Um, so instead of like, for instance, in example, instead of demanding the ball in high ball, I would just be like, like set Brody, Brody's on fire, set Brody in practice and stuff like that. And then when the situation arose in games where I would set the high ball, I didn't know what to do because I was so fired up on help, like making other people better. Be good at what they were good at. So I guess my internal monologue was that. Do you think, do

Mathias 18:55

you think that that comes from, like, that's incredible that you said you gained confidence from other people's actions and helping them be better? Does that indicate a lack of confidence in yourself or?

Jesse 19:15

I think so. I would not say I'm a very, I'm getting much more confident as of recently, honestly, in the last six months, like from the summer onwards. But before that, yeah, I was not a very confident volleyball player. I also volleyball caused me a lot of stress and I don't even know, I couldn't pinpoint it's like, it wasn't the stress of games. I loved games, but just volleyball in general stressed me out a lot. And I think that was also because of a lack of confidence and like helping, not helping, but celebrating other people. Came very naturally to me. Um, but then it got to a point where I was like, I want to, I also want to be celebrated, you know, I also want to do good things.

Mathias 20:10

For sure. That's, um, that's interesting. what would you tell someone who's struggling with their confidence and how did you find yours?

Jesse 20:22

I, it's not a fluke. I think if you work really hard at something, it will start to emerge. And when I would even like. I remember like there was one game where I passed some like incredible balls in university, but I told myself it was a fluke because it was something that I didn't believe I could actually do. And you know, I was like, just got lucky. And so I don't think it's a fluke. I think you have, it's not a selfish act to celebrate your own achievements and your own performance. And I think also journaling really helped. I used to journal only when things were going poorly, but now when things go well, I also journal about it and journal about like my internal monologue and what I was thinking and what people were saying to me and stuff like that so that I can capture those moments so that when I do go into a slump, I can dig myself out much easier because I know it's not a fluke and I know that I can get out of it.

Mathias 21:31

That's really interesting. Cause, uh, in the last episode, we kind of went down a similar path and we were almost the opposite. I was like, do my job, do my job, do my job. And you're make each other better, make each other better. So yeah, that's kind of interesting. And I think that's like pretty clear. Like, I think you'd be able to, um, tell just based off of like our personalities and stuff and in practice and how good of a leader you are on the court and like connecting with guys off the court and that kind of stuff. Um, I guess I'll ask you the question now that we didn't get to, um, in the last episode is, uh, why, why do you think you've been named captain so much? You've been captain on almost every team for the last, I don't know what, five years, four years? Yeah, I've been captain a lot. Yeah, even on your, your first pro contract. You were named captain. That's pretty incredible. Um, that was crazy. Yeah. Um, what are, what are, what do you bring to these teams that shows coaches that you are undoubtedly the captain of the team?

Jesse 22:51

I think, well, part of it is I truly celebrate other people's successes. And I think that's important because it's a team game. Like even in practice, if we're competing like super tight drill, high stakes, energy, energy is high. I'll still oftentimes like be like on the other side, like really nice dig or a nice move, or, Oh, I know you've been working on that for the last week. Like way to execute that because it's a team. So I understand. That volleyball is a team sport. And I think I use that to my advantage. I also understand that teams don't start and stop once practice starts and stops. We're teammates from August 1st to whenever the season ends, you know, and even university, your teammates throughout the summer, you're not gone. So I also understood the power of relationships and building those relationships with the players and the staff. I think building relationships with staff is super important too me. So when conversations have to be had. I know, and they know, that the best interest of the conversation is for the team, um, and, and there's no, I never make decisions, very rarely do I make decisions without thinking about how it would affect the team, and I think that is also evident, and I, I think I learned that from Ben, and Ben was really good at, and Asking for our opinion on everything. When do you want to eat? Where do you want to eat? How much time do you want to sleep? do video here or here? Like he was never making the decision. He said, what's best for the team. Well, how can we make the team succeed? And I think I've taken that with me. I, whenever I'm the captain, I never, if the coach asked me something, I'll always go back to the team or a part of the team, you know, like always say, Hey, what do you think about this? I'm thinking about saying this and I'll be like, yeah, great. But I'll never do something without. Asking the team. And I think that adds a lot of autonomy to a team when they feel like they're making decisions and they have a voice in the, whatever you want to call it, the community. So I think that's probably why.

Mathias 25:17

That's cool. Let me, I'm, I'm searching up a, I'm searching up a quote right now. think this is the quote that kind of sums up, um, what you just said. And then also kind of how Ben ran his team. And it says in essentials, unity. In non essentials, liberty. In all things, charity. So, in the essentials, Ben would always lay down the law. This is, this is essential and important to our team, and this is what's best for us, and this is what everyone is gonna do. In the non essentials, such as what do you want to eat? Where do you want to eat? What time do you want to eat? What do you want to do for a warmup game? What kind of shirt do you want to wear for practice? It was Liberty. We, we, as a team had, uh, had the choice and then in all things, charity. I don't even know what that means, but I'm assuming it's like, you're always

Jesse 26:16

thinking of other people. You're, you're trying to give back. You're trying to celebrate others, I think is how I understood that.

Mathias 26:22

Yeah, I would agree. So I think that's, that's pretty cool. And that's kind of what you're saying. Um, I think all the best leaders that I know do that. There's some things that are non negotiable and,

Jesse 26:34

um, But they're not, I think that's cool because they're non negotiable, but they're in a charitable way. Yeah, exactly. It's for the best of the team. Yeah, exactly. There's no selfish acts.

Mathias 26:43

So,

Jesse 26:44

um, I think you, you do that really well. Yeah. Oh, I guess I, I was actually, I was thinking about this in the shower this morning because I knew you were going to ask this question. Yeah. I think another thing is I, I don't get distracted very easily. Yeah, exactly. Um, like one of my biggest pet peeves is when guys complain to the ref after the rally's gone, done. Like when have you ever, ever seen a ref change their call? Ever. You know, unless it's like a, something you can challenge. But like, you're distracting yourself, you're distracting your team, and it, I, I, it drives me absolutely crazy. And, I think I do a pretty good job of reminding guys before the distraction's even possible, like, Hey, when this happens, because it's gonna happen, and the ref is gonna miss something, this is how we're gonna react. And having like a game plan for distractions, and I learned that in my club years, actually. Sean Sky, the head coach of Mount Royal. Came in and gave a talk to us because he's a sports psychologist, uh, came into our, our club team and gave a little talk before nationals, I think it was about distraction and it's something that stuck with me for a long time. And he said, write down all the possible distractions that you can think of. And I think I filled like two pages of distractions. And then he said, now write down what you're going to do when that distraction arises. And I thought that was such a powerful exercise and I still do it now. Yeah. But a lot of those things are just kind of ingrained in my mind that I've done for a long time that I know how to deal with them now.

Mathias 28:24

Yeah. That's, that's really cool. That's a, that's a subtle form of preparation that can be a, have a big, big difference on performance. Yeah, for sure. What, uh, what are some tangible, actionable items or tips that people can do if they're not naturals in relationship building?

Jesse 28:52

I don't know if I'm the right person to ask. I, I, I would say that Relationship building doesn't necessarily mean, Hey, let's go for coffee and have a conversation. There are many, many ways to build relationships and it differs from person to person. And there's some guys that I have really long, really deep conversations with. We walk to and from practice. We get to know each other on a really deep level. And there's some guys where all I have is a handshake with them. And I asked them if they had any dreams that night, you know, like that's still. Building a relationship, where there's some guys where I'll just hide his shoe, not even hide it, I'll just move it like three feet to the left, he knows it's me, and that's it, that's our relationship, that's, but all relationships, er, sorry, oh yeah, all relationships can and should be different, I think. And I think finding your own way to build relationships, and it's, there, it doesn't have to be, I don't think it should be verbal all the time, I think there's lots of ways to build relationships that just make you closer, that just give you a common ground. Yeah, that's really cool.

Mathias 30:14

That's, that's funny. I think it's, it's often, it's hard for people, um, who are naturally gifted at certain things to describe how to do it to someone else, which I think is why you're like, well, maybe I'm not the best person, but obviously you are the best person to explain that, you know, you're world class at that. But no, that's cool. I think, uh, from what, uh, what I can discern from that, it's like the genuine interaction at a high frequency. Would you say that?

Jesse 30:50

Yeah, I think a high frequency thing is huge. Even like, like some of the young guys on my team, I'll make the same bad French joke, like twice a day almost, on road trips, and they get so annoyed, but we have a great connection, and we have a good laugh every time, you know, like that high frequency is really important, I think. It's like the 10, 000 hours thing. Obviously you don't say the same joke 10, 000 times, but the more you do it, the greater the connection. Yeah. I guess. I think it's also about like,

Mathias 31:29

you're, you're making each guy feel special because they have your attention for that moment. so it's like you've taken the time, you've, you've put in effort to connect with this one guy or even move in the guy's shoe, it means that you thought about him while he wasn't there, so I think that that just shows a level of care, even though you're on a little prank on him, so

Jesse 31:58

that's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's where it comes from, and it wasn't, it's not like a conscious thing, really, I just kind of do it, and I always have. I don't know why, but I've realized more recently how actually important and beneficial it is. And I think that's, that is why I have been named captain quite a bit is because I have a genuine relationship with everyone and people know that I care about them and I'm thinking about them outside the, the nine by nine as well. So when things do happen or when problems arise, I'm often the first person that they'll come talk to. Uh, I think that's probably a combination of other things too, but I think that is why. A big part of it.

Mathias 32:50

Incredible. What about, uh, is it the same thing with coaches? Because for me, I've always had a bit of a weird relationship with coaches where I always, or not always, but I really want to respect them and to listen to them and follow them and have them be someone that I really look up to. And so then I don't make a big effort to get to know them on like a super personal level. because it almost feels like I'm crossing boundaries there.

Jesse 33:30

Yeah, that's uh, an interesting one because I highly respect all my coaches as well, but I do everything I can to get to know them on a personal level. And I love getting to know coaches and talking to them about things that aren't volleyball related. And I think I know, and I think I know some players I played with get annoyed or frustrated with how close I am to coaches, I guess. And it's not like I'm doing it on purpose to try and get like favoritism or something like that. I just genuinely enjoy getting to know them as people because I think someone with that much knowledge and experience and is, and, and they're that good at something. I just want to get to know them and get to know who they are and what shaped them to be the person they are now. And like, for instance, like we were in, uh, Uh, the Dominican Republic this summer and Glenn Hoag, like Canadian legend was our coach. And we were in line waiting for dinner and we were watching, um, uh, stepbrother bloopers on his phone and just like laughing and laughing and laughing and connected. And then we would send each other bloopers on YouTube, like throughout the whole week. And it was awesome. That was so fun and like here in France, I sit in the front seat of the minibus and me and my coach talk about our families and he's a big hunter. So I told him about Oog and like, like just having conversations that have nothing to do with volleyball. And I, I don't do it for any reason other than I just love it. And I love getting to know people and I love building those relationships. And then I think, same thing last year with Stephane, and I think Actually, I don't know. This might be kind of a muddy water piece, but I think they understand that I also highly respect them. So when they do have to give me tough information or tough feedback where they have to sub me out, cause I'm playing bad, they know that I know that there's, it's not personal and it's for the best of the team. And then I'm going to react in a way that, that it's been, that I know it's beneficial for the team. But I don't know if that has anything to do with the relationships. I'm sure there's a piece to it.

Mathias 36:14

That's so cool, dude. That's make me so happy when you're saying that. I don't know why,

Jesse 36:22

dude. I don't know why either. Like even like last year, like in Germany with Stefan, like me and Liv went out for brunch with Stefan and his wife. And then when mom and dad came to visit, we had a team barbecue and then afterwards the team left and mom and dad came over and all four of us and Stefan just like had a bunch of wine in the backyard and talked and chatted as friends, as people, like. Yeah, I don't know. It's awesome. It's so much more than volleyball. And I think that's why I love it so much. I love, volleyball is just a sport and a game and I've learned that recently too. But those relationships last forever and those memories of like watching bloopers and going for dinner and like stuff like that with other coaches and stuff is just amazing. super, super fun to me, or even like babysitting Ben's kids. Like that stuff. I remember, I remember all those nights.

Mathias 37:20

All right. I guess this is a good one, which I feel like might be able to discern the answer from what you just said. But how do you, how do you view volleyball different than most other people you think?

Jesse 37:38

I think it's a place to express yourself And I really enjoy relationships, and I really enjoy having fun, and volleyball gives me that opportunity. And, like, some of my favorite memories playing volleyball were, like, last year, Max Elgert and I were Pepper Partners. And there was, like, a period of time where we would come to practice, and we would be so excited to Pepper. Because we would have a player in mind that we were gonna, like, mimic, and we had to guess who the other person was mimicking while we played Pepper. And, like, it was so fun! Oh, dude, that's hilarious. I, and I just love finding new ways to send the ball from A to B and like seeing how consistently I can do it and doing it with my friends and celebrating when they do fun things and stuff like that. And so I just love, like, I know Tias you love getting better, but I love, I love being creative and having fun with my friends. And I think that makes me better because I, I thought long and hard about like how, how dedicated you were to the getting better thing. Thank you. And at first I was like, I don't know if that's really me, but it really is. I just think I have a different way of getting there. And maybe actually not, maybe I know that if I was as driven and dedicated as you, I would be better than I am right now, but I don't think I would have as much fun and I think that's really, really important to me. And, but I

Mathias 39:24

think also Jess that, that's why, like getting better to me is fun, right? Yeah, exactly. A hundred percent. So, so we're, our, both of our goals are the same thing. It's basically just like fun, satisfaction and joy, all that stuff. And for me, the joy of the game is getting better, being able to do things that I couldn't do yesterday. And for you, the joy of the game is being with your friends and being creative and, And just like, I guess, straight lining it to the fun Yeah, sometimes a

Jesse 39:59

little too much. I got kicked out of practice a couple, couple times. Really? Yeah. Wait, where? In Gatineau. With Dan. Oh, in Gatineau. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, there was one time, not one time, there was one week where I vividly remember it because every summer I go back, this story comes up. But, Dan was like, Jesse, go get the bike! I just had to ride the bike in the corner. During practice, I was practicing. Because you

Mathias 40:29

were joking around or what?

Jesse 40:30

Because I was, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I made a joke to Luke about having flubber on my fingers. Like, you know Flubber, the movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause the ball bounced the wrong direction and he laughed and that was being a distraction. Oh, that's

Mathias 40:45

funny, man. That's funny. Dan, Dan, uh, kicked me out of practice one time too. He sent me home. Oh,

Jesse 40:57

really?

Mathias 40:57

Yeah. I, uh, We were at the beginning of practice and he's like talking about preparation and how it's not just when you're in the gym, like, you know, an hour or two before you need to start getting your mind and your body in the right space to come ready to train. So you eat right, you prepare mentally, you're not doing silly things before practice. And he's like, all right, everyone, like raise your hand if you're, if you're above like a 7 ready and like most people raise their hand. It's like, okay, like. Like five or six out of ten, five out of ten, everyone raises their hand like pretty high and then I like didn't raise my hand He's like, where are you? And I was like, oh probably like a like a two and he's like go home And and so I'm like, oh boy So I walk over to the wall and grab my water bottle and right as I'm about to leave the gym, he's like, I'm just kidding.

Jesse 42:00

So

Mathias 42:01

he called me back in, but then, then he talked to me. He's like, why aren't you ready to train? I was like, oh, I was, I was doing school. Cause just like you, I was the only guy who was still in, in class and stuff and whatever. He was understanding and all that. But my heart dropped, dude, when he said go home. Yeah. It was, it was wild.

Jesse 42:20

Well, speaking of, dude, am I moving on your screen?

Mathias 42:24

Uh, no.

Jesse 42:25

well, sorry to our YouTube viewers, um, my camera's not working anymore. But, while we're on this coach thing, T, I had a crazy, crazy experience yesterday. Tell me. Okay, so you know how we were talking with Graham Vigras about how it doesn't matter? Mm hmm. And missing your serve doesn't matter? Mm hmm. Because life goes on and you're still, doesn't affect you as a person? Yesterday I had a serve that I think did matter. It, it affected someone else's life before the game day before the game. We found out that if we lost this game, there was like a 90 percent chance that our coach was going to get fired because we haven't been doing so well. And I really like our coach and I was super prepared for the game. I really, really wanted to win. Not just to win, but for him, because it meant a lot. To me and to him and to keep him around and to show him how much, whatever, 13, 14 in the fifth set, we're downed and I go back to serve and I was freaking out because I had my coach's career in my hands and I, I, I had so many thoughts and emotions that I had never experienced before because I did not want to miss that serve. I was so close to just putting in a muffin because I like. It was wild. I don't, I still don't, I miss, I made the surf, we lost the game, but it was crazy. It was really, really crazy. Yeah, dude.

Mathias 44:31

Well, I, I said this, um, I think when Bri was on and the, it doesn't matter framework I think is true. The majority of the time as for especially Canadians. And it's a, it's a blessing that it is true because for some people it does matter for, for people in those countries where volleyball is their way out and volleyball is the only way that they can make enough money to feed their families or to, yeah, pay for the basic necessities of life, then it really, really does matter. So I think that framework, it's like, it's a, it's a, it's a blessing when it doesn't matter, which is true a lot of time for us. And I guess you kind of experienced your first taste of, of it does matter, um, in terms of, in terms of someone's life.

Jesse 45:34

Yeah. And like, there was just, and well, and here's the thing, because I got to know him on a, personal level, like I knew that he had just bought an apartment and he was renovating and spending a bunch of money to renovate this apartment. And like, I knew a lot of things about him and I care deeply about him. And so it really, really mattered on way more levels than I think anybody ever watching the game would know. And I think you're bang on, like it is such a privilege because it doesn't affect me, even if I got fired, like. Whatever, like,

Mathias 46:15

yeah, but I also think he probably thinks the same way

Jesse 46:21

probably think especially in your in your

Mathias 46:23

in your mind Just yeah, you you you care about you care about other people probably more than about yourself Probably to your detriment sometimes and so I think yeah Yeah So I think if it was your job on the line there and that serve you'd be nervous and and it would it would probably matter but You know, you'd be fine. You'd find, you'd find another job. You'd, you still have your family, still have everything that you love. And it's the same for, for him. It sucks for sure. If he loses his job in the grand scheme of things, it still is in the, almost in the doesn't matter category.

Jesse 47:01

For sure. I think it is in the doesn't matter category, but I just wanted to share that because it was crazy. That's uh, Cause I've, I've been, I've been in some precarious serving situations before, like whatever fifth sets or national finals or whatever it may be. I've been in a lot of those serving sub down by two or whatever. Like I've been in a lot and this was like nothing compared to those.

Mathias 47:30

Yeah. That's, that's really interesting when the pressure, when the pressure and the consequences. Exceed the scope of volleyball, because the worst that can happen in most games is you lose the game, you lose the tournament, you don't win a medal. But yeah, when the consequences are outside the scope of volleyball, that's rare. I will

Jesse 47:55

say one thing though, it made me feel very alive, if that makes sense. Like I felt very Yeah, a lot. That's the best way to say it.

Mathias 48:09

I think that's, that's one of the reasons why pressure is a privilege, I guess, is because it, it's worth something, which is important. I think indifference is, is worse than negative emotion. If you don't care.

Jesse 48:29

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Mathias 48:34

So it's good to feel something. I think. Let's talk about that. Um, Thank you. In, uh, in the last episode I was, I was sharing how I, I try to turn everything that I can into, into a choice and operate that way by logic ing my way out of emotion and, um, choosing my response and stuff. And you said that maybe you're the opposite. And in your story about the backstory, you said that you're, you're, uh, sensitive to the external world. What's, what's that like for you? How is that a, an advantage or disadvantage?

Jesse 49:26

Yeah, I don't know. I used to, until recently, I've realized, I've realized that I've learned a lot of things in the last 18 months. Um, good things, but I used to think that a lot of my mental health stuff or my sensitivity or whatever was because of the back surgery and that whole time. But I think I've always been like that. Yeah. That just really amplified it and made me learn a lot of things about myself. Um, but yeah, I definitely don't logic my way out of things. I feel emotions much stronger and deeper than most people. And I feel other people's emotions quite deeply as well. Um, I think again, that's why I get so much confidence when people are succeeding because I feel that confidence. I feel that strength, that like empowerment kinda. Um, and I've, I've learned to harness. My emotions a little bit better and control them a little bit more, but I still think your emotions are telling you something and you have to listen to them. I think the worst thing you can do is ignore them. I'm not saying you ignore your emotions, but you, I think you just, like I said, you use them and you learn from them and you choose to make a choice based on the emotions that come up. I think I just hold onto them and feel them a little bit longer. I'm not sure why. Um, but when I'm happy, I'm like very happy. Okay. And when I'm sad, I'm very sad. I cry, like, a decent amount. I for sure cry more than most 25 year old males. Um, but I think that's a good thing. I don't know why, but I think it's a good thing. Um, yeah. Well, yeah, I don't know, I don't know if I answered the question.

Mathias 51:31

I forget, uh, I forget what I asked. But I think that that's, that's really cool. And I think what we're learning here through a lot of this is that there's definitely not one right way of doing things, especially like, I think you and I are quite different and what works for one person might not work for another.

Jesse 51:58

Hey, that's a great point because it's really easy to think that the way that works for you isn't working. You know, like when you would make it on the A team over me like we've talked about that that we were always battling for positions And you, you won every time. It was really easy for me to be like, Okay, obviously what I'm doing is not working. I have to do it the way Thias is doing it because the, the result speaks for itself. But I think that's a trap. It's a really easy trap to fall into. But it's a trap because I know that if I did what you do, I would not be happy.

Mathias 52:48

Yeah, dude, it has to be genuine. Has to be genuine. And, uh, I was listening to a podcast the other day and, um, The one that I've mentioned here before, Modern Wisdom. And the host was telling a story about tennis. And tennis is pretty cool because there was like three of the greatest of all time played at the same time. So it was like Roger Federer, Raphael Nadal, and Djokovic. And, uh, they were like kind of studying how each of these guys approach the game. And, uh, Nadal in, in warmups was going full speed, like playing full matches, hitting the ball as hard as you could, full sweat, um, giving a hundred percent. And then you go over to Djokovic's court and he is. Um, just doing like reps, like technical, technical reps every time we're focusing on technique, making sure that he's getting his forehand moving properly, his backhand moving properly, and then you go over to watch Federer warm up and he's like hitting trick shots like between his legs, behind his back, um, making cracking jokes with his buddies, right? And these are the three best tennis players of all time competing against each other at the same time. And. Their approaches could not be more different. So

Jesse 54:11

I love that story. That is so cool. That is so cool.

Mathias 54:17

So I think, and I love what you said, Jess, about it's so easy to be derailed from your own genuine process. Because of when the result shows up. And uh, I think there's some commonalities, probably, across all the approaches. Not sure exactly what they are, but I do think sustainability is a big one. So like you're saying Jess, if you took my approach, likely you would have burned out in a year or two and not made it to where you are now. So I think that's a huge part of being genuine.

Jesse 54:59

That reminds me, I did burn out. I have burnt out. Like, and I learned the importance of balance. Like, I remember I went from, I think I went like high school volleyball, club volleyball, team Alberta, beach nationals, straight to FTC, straight to, um, junior team, straight to team Alberta again, or something like that. And I burned out. I remember I, after practice one day at team Alberta, crying again to Brock Davidoff, like Brock, I can't do this. I don't know what's wrong with me. Like, I can't do it. And I burned out and I remember calling dad and he's like, yeah, You're at the time I didn't know I was burnt out. I remember calling dad and dad's like, yeah, you're burnt out. Like, it's not, this is not your approach. You can't play 365 days a year. That's just not. What's important to you. That's not how you gain energy. So I think you're, you're bang on. And I was just thinking about what you said, how creativity is so important to me. I think that's why I love working with Nick. Like kind of slight little plug here for the athlete wellness Academy, but I genuinely, truly love working with him because it's so creative. It's so fun. We don't just spike volleyballs. We throw things, twist things, use different body parts to twist and rotate and throw, and all the workouts are always fun and different. And I think that's why I improve so much because it's so creative and it's so fun. And that's really important to me. You know, like I, I'm sure that like there's people like Brody, if he could deadlift and clean every lift, he would, he would love that. Not me. I want to hang and swing and throw and twist and stuff because that's fun and creative. You know, so I think you're bang on with the genuineness of your journey.

Mathias 56:59

And for the, for the other people out there that, um, wanted a little extra creativity in there. in there of workout and arm swing program, what would be the code they would use on the, uh, arm swing academy website?

Jesse 57:15

Um, I think it's like, uh, arm swing 50 or something. You're like 50 percent off or something like that. All right. All right. Cool. Yeah. But no, I, I really liked that story about the tennis players, man. That's cool.

Mathias 57:27

Yeah. I thought that, I thought that was really cool too. And it's kind of, uh, It's like liberating and also a little bit scary at the same time because you can do whatever you want, but, um, like no one can, no one can necessarily teach you or tell you how to get there. It's like a, just a ridiculous amount of work and experimentation to find out how you perform your best. And I think you and I, I think we followed pretty similar paths in like the last Our last year of university. And then since I think we've kind of, we've both found how we operate in a genuine fashion to be our best on the court. And we've been playing since we were essentially born, like for real, since we were 11, 12. So 10 years of experimentation and learning before we found out kind of how we can be ourselves

Jesse 58:31

and perform our best. Yeah, there's no rush. Like, I remember, I think I've said this on the podcast too. Like dad used to always say, don't wish your life away. Cause I always wanted to be older. I always wanted to be on different teams. I always wanted to hang out with our older cousins. Like I always wanted to be older, do older people things, you know? And, um, he said that to me twice a month, it seems like, and I think that's like some of the best advice I ever got is you're exactly where you're supposed to be and you've learned way more than, you know, and all of it will become a parent. When it's supposed to like right now for me like I've I'm in a really good spot And I've learned a lot over the last 18 months that have that I've been learning my whole life But it's just now making sense.

Mathias 59:22

I agree. I agree. Um, let's go, let's go. Last question here. Uh, I guess we asked this to og, you asked this to me. Maybe we've kind of dove into this a little bit already, but what do you think you're an expert in?

Jesse 59:45

I think relationships, I think, but I don't, it's not something that I like research or like anything like that. It just comes really naturally to me. That's why. I gained a lot of confidence and like positivity, uh, throughout my education degree and going on to all those practicums and teaching the kids. Cause building relationships with the kids was super easy for me. Building relationships with coaches is super easy for me. Um, and I really enjoy it, I guess even when I sold cars. Before I left the dealership, the, the general manager asked me to like write a little textbook basically for the other salesmen and like how to build rapport with clients. And it wasn't something that I was like consciously doing. I was just like talking to them. I didn't know anything about cars, neither did they. So what are we going to talk about? Not cars. We're going to talk about like, we're going to find a connection and then we're going to go talk to someone who knows what they know about cars, you know?

Mathias 1:00:59

Yeah, that's incredible. And, and, and. Incredibly valuable as well. you do have an incredible gift for building relationships and I think we can all learn, um, to be a little bit more like that. Yeah, man. Thanks for coming on. That was, that was a joy. I learned a lot and I hope the people at home did as well. So that's 28? Yes, 28. Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas, happy New Year, and a Happy New Year. Yeah. Alrighty. I think that wraps and if you're looking for a gift for someone. Yeah. Yeah. Arm swing 50 on the Athlete Wellness Academy. Arms Swing Academy. Alrighty, I think that wraps up episode number 28 of the Pit Pro Podcast. Thanks everyone for listening and signing off.

1:01:56

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